Is it really necessary to be in real love.. or is it even possible?

Monday, December 28, 2009

Love at first sight, serendipity, and the occasional tragic Cinderella story are gobbled up daily by numerous women desperate at their chance of a fairy-tale ending. I'm not trying to be a negative Nancy and beg to differ that there is no such thing out there as actual love. For me, I still have yet to find it... Give me a break; I'm only nineteen.

The other day I was casually checking up on my Facebook and what pops up on my news feed? But of course, some statuses and pictures of old friends that I haven't seen/spoken to for about two to three years. Acquaintances, I might add, from high school and elementary. What was so interesting about them? Well.. at the age of 20, they seemed to have found "true love" and are now engaged. The friend (we'll call her Abby), got engaged... on Christmas eve... Cute? yes.. Cliche? yes... Will it last? who knows.... BUT what I do know, is that Abby had great potential in high school. She was intelligent when she applied herself. Beauty and Brains? That was a definite fact about her. She was gorgeous.. don't get me wrong.. she still is.. Tall, thin, blonde, tan with these huge blue eyes and a hilarious no.. filthy rich... she was born into wealth and glamour..and she was a very entertaining person. A friend once said that if they lived with Abby, they would never need a television or anything.. she was a reality tv show herself. Yes, Abby seemed perfect or more of she WAS perfect. I just think she could have done so much more with her life before she decided to settle down.. 20 is such a young age.. it's a year away from me... and I'm not even ready to commit to getting a tattoo or not. I still admire her and consider a great friend. However, I'm not sure if the falling for "true love" at such a young age is something I can agree with her.

How can we truly discover what true love actually is at such a young age? I can barely understand the mechanics of living on my own and accepting the fact that in my last year of being a teenager, I'm about to face my actual adulthood of responsibility, careers, and taxes... the real world.

I have never been in love nor come close to it. The puppy love days of high school are over, and currently my love life is close to nonexistent. I don't believe that having a relationship defines myself, nor do I see an obligation to find someone. But of course, I'm not going to lie to myself and say that I don't want love. Yes, I do. Everybody wants it (even if they're denying it... they are lying to themselves). The Beatles speak truth... All you need is love... even if it's fake...

Chuck Klosterman describes this theory of "fake love" in his book Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs. Fake Love is when our perception of actual love has become so distorted by pop culture and mass media to the extent that we trick ourselves into believing that this "love" can be attainable. When in reality, it's nothing but fluff and a sappy script that some writer wrote to keep us entertained in a 120 minute production starring a Hollywood Brad Pitt and Marilyn-look-alike.

So is it worth it? Falling in love? My friend Abby said she found love, and Jack and Rose fell in love in the Titanic. How can we fall in it.. if we don't even know what it actually is?

In my last blog, I compared "falling in love" to an accessory... Well, men compare their wives to a trophy on their mantle.. and in some Hollywood films, the female gender objectified as sex, lust, or beauty... I, on the other hand, described a man as arm candy. He's like the brand new black calfskin Prada satchel upon your arm or those Jimmy Choo's that hurt your feet yet you continue to wear them because in your mind it makes your ass look great. However, out of all the accessories you can ever accumulate, he is supposedly the one that will be at your side and never wither away.. Or at least that's how the movies put it. Through thick and thin, he'll be there... For better or for worse.. the challenge that most women face today is the reality that there are very few men that can live up to these "unrealistic" expectations.

Any guy that can be good in essence, is somehow flawed by the checklist we've created. Same with men. If a girl who truly loves you and is a perfect fit for you walks by... you'd think twice before asking her out, when on the hand a young, gorgeous, bombshell struts her stuff down the street, and you're thinking "Hey, I'd like to buy that piece of ass a drink." There's this check-list or this idea of love that we need to fulfill or that our romantic interest needs to satisfy in order for us to fully immerse ourselves "in love." We have to "fall in love" the way the movie portray love to be. We're waiting for those sentimental moments that Meg Ryan and Hugh Jackman share in Kate & Leopold. Unfortunately, the reality is that this "real love" (fake love) is not real. Therefore, we can never fully satisfy someone; nor can they satisfy us. So if we can't reach this type of love because it's not really "real" then how can we fall in love? I mean..we can't even begin to define it from the start...

For me.. well, I'm still doubting if it's really worth it to venture and find if there is something out there. Don't get me wrong, I have hope that some day I'll find someone special. But I'm in no hurry to get engaged like my gal pal Abby, and I'm not about to fall for the Hollywood simulated "love." A wise friend once said, "You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince." So here's to finding that fairy-tale ending. May the journey be short, and the destination everlasting.

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