Within Arm's Reach

In life, there are things that you need to live: air, water, food, and shelter... and then, there are things that you want like those gorgeous Jimmy Choo's that scream your name every time you pass by Saks or that Tory Burch shift hanging in the display case in Neiman Marcus.

But, there are also things that you don't necessarily need to live physically but emotionally... you

simply can't live without.

Right now in my life, I have never wanted anything so much more than this.. which will remain unnamed for now. (No need to JINX it!)

I have come to realize that no material item nor person can replace the one thing I want most right now. It means so much to me that I can't even explain it. My love for it is rooted in my dedication and passion for the people I have met through it. This thing is something I need to live because it feeds my heart, my soul, and my life.

Its value is far too great... it truly is irreplaceable.

Within the next week, all shall be decided, and clarity will be restored in my life. The only problem that is troubling me is that there's a probability that I might not get it.

This thing that I have coveted so greatly for almost 3 years now is so close... but at the same time it's not...

like a flip of a coin... I have a 50/50 chance.

Trying to look at things in a more positive light like one of my best sisters (Katie) has told me over and over again, I'm attempting to see the glass half-full. With that... I'm believing with my whole heart and soul that it will be possible.

It is within arm's reach.

But... because of self-doubt... I do know that it's also fair game that in a blink of an eye, (or one single mark on a scrap piece of paper) I could lose everything that I had hoped for.

For that, I am vulnerable.

BUT because my LOVE for it is so great... I AM STRONG.

Never have I put my entire heart out on the line.

I can worry per usual and become the stress-ball I typically become but whatever happens... will happen for a reason.. and that I must learn to accept.

Nevertheless, I will continue to repeat my mantra "it is what it is" so that I may/attempt to remain calm and collected.