The Richard Cycle #SororityGirlProblems

Monday, March 14, 2011

"You got that somethin' that keeps me so off balance.
Baby, you're a challenge."

Yes, I'm following up to my last post. That second heartbreak that I spoke of will now be analyzed because that's what, us, girls do. We over-analyze. Break it down piece by piece. Cry our eyes out, stuff our faces with ice cream sandwiches, eat grilled cheese sandwiches, go gymming and blab the same story a hundred times to each of her sisters. Yes. That's what I am doing, and to the many followers (or lack thereof) I apologize in advance if this is not the post you were looking forward to... I need to vent some way or another, right? 

Mkay, here it goes. 
For my own sake, let's call him Richard; Dick for short... well that's self-explanatory. 

I met this fine gentleman during my freshman year at UW. Richard was and still is tall, dark, and dashing. He was not my usual - clean cut, v-neck sweater wearin' and preppy yact/country club type of man. Instead, Richard sported the flannel (but he's also a big fan of button-up's), non-designer jeans, and out-spoken personality. (For my sisters below the Mason Dixon line, he's a Republican - a keeper.) Unlike my last fling (who came from a very traditional family and never actually worked a day in his life), Richard was hard-working. Everything he got was well-deserved, and I deeply admired him for his diligence and determination. 

Maturity on the other hand... well, that he lacked. Actually Richard was very much immature. In fact, he was and still is a bit childish. He most definitely fit the stereotypical mold of his fraternity. And during his freshman year, you could pick him out of the 30 of his pledge class to be the one who was the first to complete any pledge tasks and the only one to memorize his pledge manual. After his initiation, he became even more frat-tastic... and with time, a sense of entitlement. 

He is, in essence, the ultimate frat-daddy. He bleeds _____ and ____, the colors of his house, and to many, is seen as huge ASSet to his chapter. 

Today, Richard has toned down just a bit. He now realizes who his real friends are and the importance of accepting all people. However, he still has issues with "Greek Hierarchy" which is ridiculous because this whole ranking brings us back to high school. (Which I think is an excuse for his unwillingness to set his own way because he doesn't want to stray from what his "bros expect.") His love for his chapter is still very apparent in not only how he speaks of his brothers but through his actions, dedication, efforts and the position he currently holds

Anyways, back to my thing with Richard - it has had its fair share of UPs and DOWNs. At the house, some of the sisters like to call it the Richard Cycle, and for some odd reason, I keep on repeating this god-forsaken cycle over and over again... 

So the real questions here include: Why does it never work? (and of course, why am I still so intrigued after all these years/cycles?)

IDK. - this is one mystery Scooby and the gang will never possibly solve no matter how many Scooby snacks you give them.  BUT living in a sorority with my closest sisters, well, we have some possible theories. Oh #sororitygirlproblems

So now we begin:

Theory #1 (from contributing editor and beloved sister CGP): He, like his nickname (ahem... Dick), is by nature an insincere frat-daddy who is living the fratastic dream in his frat-castle - tricking innocent sorority women and mounting their hearts on his wall as a sport. 

Richard, at times, can be extremely rude, obnoxious and down-right... FRATASTIC. No, I have never been treated like a "slampiece" and I refuse to be called "shacker" - that is just simply unclassy and not appropriate. However, he will pull the "Let's go check out my glow-in-the-dark stars" move and I obviously know what he's expecting... 

In those moments, I strongly question our friendship. Is he undervaluing me to live up to his bro-expectations? Please refer to "A Woman's Touch" by FraternalThoughts to understand that all of these questions are dripping with sarcasm. Never would I ever put up with such un-gentleman-like behavior. The answer lies in that blog post entry - never settle for less. 

Theory #2: He is unwilling to have a thing/relationship with anyone outside of the circle of sororities that his fraternity associates with due to his lack of confidence and constant need for his brothers' approval.

Personally, I feel this theory resonates most to the situation. However, since it actually pertains to me, I am a bit biased. I am willing to admit though... Richard is a hard-core member of XYZ fraternity. He will always put his brothers and chapter before anyone else (with the exception of his beloved family). He will, I assure you, fight by any means 'til the end for his brothers. With that being said, the opinions of his bros are very near and dear to his heart. My chapter doesn't necessarily hang out with his at all. However, a few of us here and there have some good pals at his chapter, and I, myself, have made very great friendships. But, both of our chapters are not the world's closest, I must admit. As a result, I would not be the stereotypical person of interest. Do I know if he actually has an interest in me? No, I do not, nor am I willing to assume otherwise. For now, I will just leave that answer up in the air.
Theory #3: "He's Just Not That Into You"

I could be making this all up in my head. My life could be the copy-cat of Gigi's, played by Ginnifer Goodwin, in "He's Just Not That Into You" meaning that I had turned into a clingy, over-bearing girl who thinks too much of the situation -- when ultimately, it was nothing and scared him away with my aggressive, over-eagerness. 

Despite laying out all of these theories I still do not know exactly why it doesn't work. If I had a choice, I would choose to get out of this Richard cycle -- it's beginning to turn into a time-waster, and for those of you who know me well, I don't enjoy wasting my time. 

One of my dearest (sarcastic, yet witty) sisters, AKG, and I came up with this concept called "luh." "Luh" is the phase that women go through when they have a crush, in like, in love and/or etc. We have seen countless of women, even our own sisters, who are independent, strong-minded, opinionated and powerful morph into mush. They begin to put their significant love before everything - their friends, school, family and even self. Their personality shifts and this "luh" takes over them. They are in "luh" - a foufy land of sweet nothingness and sugar-coated bliss. In regards to "He's Just Not That Into You," at times when women are in "luh" they don't see the obvious signs of disinterest or lack of mutual feelings. As a result, they over-analyze everything, become quite infatuated with their love interest and come up with their own take on the relationship/friendship. In accordance with Theory #3, there is a slight possibility that me being in "luh" has resulted in in a distorted perception of the matter. 

However, I beg to differ - and Miss AKG slightly agrees as well. Me, being a "green" (leadership color style), type A personality, aggressive, 6 foot personality (according to a fellow sister), does not fall in "luh" easily. 

Next Question: Why am I so attracted to Richard? What makes me fall for him over and over again?

Well, Richard is first and foremost a sweet gentleman despite his dick-like actions. Handsome.. yes I find him attractive - in that he is more mature than the average fraternity member, eloquent in word choice, a little quirky/a bit nerdy (similar to that of The OC's Seth Cohen) and well, he's been my best friend since freshman year. He's one of those few people that I have been able to truly talk about anything... and I mean anything for these past few years. He's passionate about his chapter and national organization, which is very admirable since we all know that anything ADPi-related is the way to my heart. Strong work ethic and known by his brothers as "the most dependable," I find him to be a sweet soul, yet he, at times, can be a rotten egg. I can't pinpoint exactly why I keep on liking him; I guess it's because it's to the point where I just feel so natural around him - this sense of contentment, security and the comfortable silence.

Now, I'm contemplating about the quote above: "Things fall apart so that other things can fall together." Everything happens for a reason.. and if it's meant to be then it will come around full circle. That's the beauty of life, isn't it? It all just works out in the end. No matter how much we try to fix, give solutions and/or attempt to make certain choices for our own expected outcomes - what's mean to be will be. It's all about putting it in God's hands. So yes, I can vent all I want, make strategic plans on how to win him back or make him jealous (like most girls do), there really is no point. The best thing to do is to simply let go, and let my ship sail its course...

I guess there's no point in trying to solve this mystery puzzle. The Richard Cycle will just be one of those life puzzles that I will leave to solve itself. If he truly cared, he'd fix it himself. 

What's My Name (feat. Drake) - Rihanna

Oh Ultimate #SGP - my sisters asked me what would happen if he read this.. would he know it was him or not because that would ultimately be a little crazy - outta control - - embarrassing on my part... Ummm I honestly dunno.. so hopefully not and personally, he should be flattered to be featured as a star on one of my blog entries. 

1 comment:

  1. Oh sweetie, sorry, I have to admit that I skipped over all those theories because well, I kind of can't believe you spent all this time on some guy. Some guy who doesn't even deserve a real name on your blog.

    I've had my fair share of crazy-b moments, but in the end you'll see that the only good that comes out of this is that you have some funny "what was i thinking" stories to share with the girlies.


    and get some sleep!


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